The Way of Raising Children

30 July by Mawlana Sheikh Muhammad Adil Ar-Rabbani


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Bismi Llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm:

إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ

(Qur’ān 64:15). ‘Innamā amwālukum wa awlādukum fitnah’, ‘Your wealth and your children are but a trial.’ Allah ‘Azza wa-Jalla says your wealth, children and family are your test. The test sometimes brings hardship and sometimes goodness. When raising (children), you should raise them on the way loved by Allah ﷻ, on the way that Allah ﷻ wants. You should teach children patience. You should teach them to do goodness. It is your duty to teach them how to help people in different ways according to Adab. If you do this duty, it will be good for both you and them.

We are living in the end of times. As our Holy Prophet salla Llāhu ‘alayhi wa-sallam said, “أَنْ تَلِدَ الأَمَةُ رَبَّتَهَا”, “An Talida l-‘Amatu Rabbataha”, “That the slave woman gives birth to her mistress.” The sign of the end of times is that a slave gives birth to his owner. People have become like slaves. Whatever children say, they do it. They fulfill their wishes. And their wishes are never-ending. The more they are given, the more they ask. Whereas it is not good to give a lot of everything. They must show little effort too. They must control their egos. When you do goodness, you cause hardship to them. When they face hardship, they won’t know what to do. They will either go astray, or do bad things.

Some people think they are doing goodness, whereas they do badness. As it is said in Qasidah Burda, the ego is like a child. If you breastfeed him, he can do it until he is 5-6 or even 10 years old. But you must wean him off breastfeeding from his mother. When you give everything to people but then cut it later, they start rebelling.

We live exactly in the time described by our Holy Prophet salla Llāhu ‘alayhi wa-sallam. People have become slaves to their children. Children are the ones who must serve their parents. But people of the present time do the opposite. Therefore, children don’t know what is right and what is wrong. They don’t know what is good and what is bad. They only want, “Serve me. Give me. Look after me”.

This is as such everywhere because it has become the same all over the world. The Aadab and principles of Islam are enough for everything. The best is when it is done with its instructions. The instructions given by Allah ‘Azza wa-Jalla are in Islam. Allah ‘Azza wa-Jalla teaches us how to live and how to discipline children. If you do it according to your mind, the way Kafirs teach it, it will be absolutely useless. May Allah ﷻ protect us. May Allah ﷻ give us all discipline to our egos insha’Allah.

Wa min Allah at-Tawfiq. Al-Fatiha.


Mawlana Sheikh Muhammad Adil ar-Rabbani

30 July 2023/ 12 Muharram 1445

Akbaba Dergah, Istanbul

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