The Real Marriage

Bismi Llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm

Nikāḥ can be done anywhere. When there are two witnesses and one asking if they really accept to be wife and husband – with two witnesses, nikāḥ is done. They become ḥalāl for each other. Without this, nothing. Because sometimes, some people claim to do something, making the ḥalāl ḥarām and the ḥarām, ḥalāl.

Some claim to be dressed like Muslims, wearing a turban. They say, “Ok, now we make nikāḥ and the angels are witnesses for us.” It is not the angels, but shayṭān. They are cheating many people by their appearance. Their appearance is Muslim and their inside is shayṭān. This is a very important thing.

After the real nikāḥ, they must know what marriage is. Marriage is two different people coming together. It is difficult to be one. Each one has their own ideas, their own ego. But they must know that this must go. It is not as you say, “I will do this,” he will go like this with you, or she will go with you as you like. Sometimes they are different: they don’t like something, you don’t like something. You must be patient. Don’t be quickly divorcing.

Nowadays, they are quickly divorcing and they are looking for another. But later, there becomes another problem. For this, in this time, divorce is happening very much. Before, it was not like that. They say there’s maybe more than 60%-80% divorce. That’s because they have another, they are looking outside, not happy, not patient. So it becomes difficult.

They say, if you have a good wife and good children, you must be happy, you are in paradise. If you have a bad wife or a bad husband or bad children, you must cry, you are everyday in hell. For this, don’t make dunyā hell. Be good with each other. Because every day, I listen to complaints from this and that. Especially, I see some murīds masha’Allah who have turban, bigger than my turban, are oppressing their wife. They throw her out.

But this is not good. You must be better. You must follow the best example for us: Prophet ṣallá Llāhu ‘alayhi wa-sallam. He ﷺ never oppressed his wives. He ﷺ was gentle with them. He ﷺ was happy with them. You must follow him ﷺ, in shā’a Llāh. Wa min Allah at-Tawfiq.

Al-Fatiha.

• Mawlana Sheikh Muhammad Adil ar-Rabbani 

15 February 2025/ 16 Sha’ban 1446

Fajr Prayer – Sheikh Nazim Dergah; London, UK