Raising Righteous Children

Bismi Llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm

“إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ”

(Qur’ān 64:15)

“Innamā amwālukum wa awlādukum fitnah”

“Your wealth and your children are but a trial.” Ṣadaqa Llāhu l-‘Aẓīm.

Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla says, your wealth, your family and your children are a test for you in dunyā. Beg Allāh ﷻ to make them steadfast in the way of Allāh ﷻ, to be on the way of Allāh ﷻ. You must raise them to be a means of goodness. A righteous child is the most valuable treasure for mankind. If the child is not righteous, you may have the whole world, eventually no one will read a Fatiha for you, nor do charity nor good deeds. They will spend all your savings in bad places. It will finish and you will have nothing.

Therefore, raising good children is the best thing for a Muslim to do. How do you raise a righteous child? With ḥalāl money. You should instill in them good religion, īmān, the love of Allāh ﷻ and our Prophet ﷺ. From the very beginning, when still a child. Our Prophet ṣallá Llāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam says, when he starts speaking, teach him first to say, “Allāh Allāh Allāh.”

Let the first word that comes out of his mouth be “Allāh”, so that his last word that he reaches the presence of Allāh ﷻ with be this word. They would be from Allāh’s ﷻ beloved servants. If they are from Allāh’s ﷻ beloved servants, you would have already won. It will be good for you in dunyā and good for you in ākhirah.

People don’t know what to do when disciplining their children. They think disciplining a child is giving him everything he wants, sending them to good schools, putting in front of them all the goods of dunyā so that they can be good children. Most of them don’t become good children. That is very rare. They become not good. Because the ego is never satisfied; no matter what you give it, it wants more.

That’s why, when disciplining a child, as we said, giving everything is not good. You must give him what’s necessary. You must teach them saving (be frugal). You must teach them generosity. They must also know which is generosity and which is saving.

There are many things that Islām shows, that our Prophet ṣallá Llāhu ‘alayhi wa-sallam shows. You should not be harsh. And you shouldn’t be too soft or completely soft. There’s a limit. From here to here, you’re allowed. From here to here, you should stop for your own good. You will get it later.

So you should give the child the thing he wants not in the same day but a week later, a month later. “Make something nice so that you can get it.” When they directly get it, there won’t be any good or value. What is valuable is with waiting a little, with patience. What is given without asking has no value. That will neither benefit him nor you.

That is why, Islamic discipline is important. People today are far from Islamic upbringing. And then they ask, “Why did our children become like this?” And sometimes they are very strict, very very strict. That’s not good at all for people of this time. If you treat people of this time strictly, they get broken that you can’t find them anymore. May Allāh ﷻ give you goodness.

“My daughter removed her hijab. She was hafiz, she was covered, she was wearing a chador and so on.” When she found the opportunity, she did it right away because you forced her to do it. Therefore, don’t be extreme. Be in the middle. Our Prophet ṣallá Llāhu ‘alayhi wa-sallam says, “كونوا أمة وسطى”, “Kūnu ummatan wasatā.” When you’re in the middle state, the child will manage. He will know the good. He will know the bad. He will also appreciate everything.

Therefore, may Allāh ﷻ protect us. The era we live in is truly one of the worst eras of dunyā; the end of times. Children must be raised well and they must know why they were created. Some people say it’s their mothers and fathers’ fault. “Why did you bring me to this world?” It isn’t your mother, father or dunyā. Even if the whole world came together against that, you would still come. Because the will of Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla is that your soul comes to your body. That matter has come from pre-eternity.

We also address the youth and children that they should not mistreat their parents. They are not at fault. No one is at fault. You have come to this world by the will of Allāh ﷻ. You must thank them so that Allāh ﷻ gives you what you want, so that you become a good Muslim and you become a beloved servant of Allāh ﷻ. May Allāh ﷻ protect us all. Shayṭān attacks them the most everywhere: in east and west. All over the world, the youth have become like a toy of shayṭān.

May Allāh ﷻ help them, in shā’a Llāh. May Allāh ﷻ protect and preserve them all. Wa min Allah at-Tawfiq.

Al-Fatiha.

• Mawlana Sheikh Muhammad Adil ar-Rabbaniق

12 May 2025/ 14 Dhul Qa’dah 1446

Lefke, Cyprus

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