Raise Your Children Upon Religion

Bismi Llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm

“إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ”

(Qur’ān 64:15)

“Innamā amwālukum wa awlādukum fitnah”

“Your wealth and your children are but a trial.” Ṣadaqa Llāhu l-‘Aẓīm.

Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla says, your wealth, your property and your children are a test for you. This is a test. You must use them well or raise them well so that they become acceptable ones in the Presence of Allāh ﷻ, and they will also be of benefit to you.

People love their children very much. Of course, they love them. But loving them is something and disciplining them is another. Some people express their love saying, “What should we do? The child is right” they accept and don’t say anything. But you must discipline them because everyone has an ego. However you raise them, that’s how they will grow up. They turn out like that. They become good people. If you don’t discipline them, someone else will raise them for you. And they will also grow up as bad.

How should you raise them? You should raise them upon the love of Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla and our Holy ‎Prophet ﷺ. They must fulfill their orders. Prophet ṣallá Llāhu ‘alayhi wa-sallam says, until the age of seven, after the age of seven, teach the children to pray. Of course, when the children are younger, 1-2 years old, they see their family praying, they follow them, they try to do like them.

Until they are seven years old, until they become Bāligh, their sins are not written in the sight of Allāh ﷻ. Children are sinless. They are infallible. But he ﷺ says that religion should be taught to them gradually. At the age of seven, you will tell him to pray. And after he is ten, you will follow up with him more closely, telling him to pray.

Now, we are in the holy month of Ramaḍān. While you fast, children say, “Let’s fast too.” In old times, they used to fast for half a day. Sometimes they would fast for a full day in between. You must encourage them. You must make them love fasting too.

People today say, “El bebek gül bebek.” (Raised as very spoiled). “Don’t let the child get hungry, let’s feed him right away, let’s make him drink. Let’s give you what you want. Your command, sir. Your servant is serving you here.” You raise them as such and then when it reaches [affects] you, people are surprised.

Even after they become mature and of age, i.e. even after the age of 14-15, they can’t bear that their children fast, “He will fast later on because he is too young.” However, after he becomes Bāligh, who breaks his fast knowingly commits a great sin. Leaving prayer and fasting is one of the major sins. It is not a minor sin, but from the major sins. They can’t replace that virtue.

You’re feeling pity for your child or daughter here. It’s not pity; you’re oppressing him. You’re depriving him of so much reward. You’re depriving him of that reward. What is it? “There’s a test today. Let the child not fast or else he won’t do well in his studies.” There’s no benefit in the studies he’s doing. Even if he did something, it wouldn’t be of any use. And it’s the same if he doesn’t do anything. On the contrary, Allāh ﷻ helps when on the way of Allāh ﷻ: the children who are fasting, the children who are praying. Allāh ﷻ will surely help them more.

Therefore, people today don’t know how to raise. Families don’t know how to discipline. They give the machine, the phone to the child, “You study with this.” What is the child studying? Something terrible comes out. Everywhere is full of shayṭāns. While studying, no one knows what poisonous things appear to him. It really confuses him. It ruins his morals.

We live for this religion. We must to make our children live for religion too, so that they will be raised upon Islamic raising. Do this without making them bored, but some times, you must stand firm.

As we said, this month of Ramaḍān is blessed. Encourage children to fast. And don’t prevent those who fast. And the most important thing is, after he becomes Bāligh, if he breaks his fast, there is a Kaffarah (expiation) for that. Not just making up for his fast. There is an expiation for it, then he has to make up for it. This is very important.

Because our life – Allāh ﷻ gave us our life to worship Him ﷻ. We should not waste it in vain. May Allāh ﷻ give people mind, so that they may learn. It is not a shame. A person learns. There is no end to knowledge. There is no end to learning. A person can learn something new every day.

Therefore, pay attention. The month of Ramaḍān just began. Let the child be happy. Fasting is not too long these days anyway. Let him do as much as he can. When we were little, Hajji Anne, may Allāh ﷻ raise her maqam, would buy it. People in old times had such a beautiful tradition. “For each day, you sell your fast, I will buy it.” And she would give us money. Encourage children with whatever gifts there are. Make it nice. Anyway, the ifṭār table, suḥūr, etc. are a nice change for children.

With the barakah of Ramaḍān, in shā’a Llāh, good generations come out. Because we hear, may Allāh ﷻ protect us, children have no īmān left, many leave the religion. But when things are done for Allāh ﷻ, Allāh ‘Azza wa-Jalla will surely protect them. May Allāh ﷻ protect them from the evil of the shayṭāns, from the evil of the bad ones, in shā’a Llāh, from the evil of those astray. It is full of those astray now. And they are showing going astray as something good. May Allāh ﷻ protect them. May Allāh ﷻ protect them from the evil of shayṭān. Wa min Allah at-Tawfiq.

Al-Fatiha.

• Mawlana Sheikh Muhammad Adil ar-Rabbani 

3 March 2025/ 3 Ramadhan 1446

Fajr Prayer – Akbaba Dergah, Istanbul