The Loss of Pleasure in Worship: A Sign of a Hardened Heart

Bismi Llāhi r-Raḥmāni r-Raḥīm

Tariqatuna as-suhbah wal-khayru fil-jam`iyya

Alhamdulillah wa syukru lillah, extending our greatest happiness and thanks to Allah Almighty. He, having written our names among those who will attend a majlis of cleansing, a majlis of elevation, a majlis of realization, a majlis of knowledge. And we are seeking from Allah Almighty in every gathering that we come, that Allah Almighty opens the hearts, eyes and ears to understand the journey that lies ahead.

I have shared this dream before, but I wish to bring it up again as a lesson for all of us. In this dream, I was standing on the Sirat surrounded by darkness. In a glimmer of light, you could see the Sirat was but a shining hair over the abyss. And I remember, when it was my turn to cross, I began to raise my hands and make Dua to Allah, “Oh Allah, help me, help me, save me, guide me, show me the way.”

After some time, there was a voice in my right ear, somebody saying to me, “Abdul Sattar, this is not the place for prayer or for seeking such things. You must have done all this in your Dunya before you came here. This is a place where you will reap what you have sown.”

It was a very sobering lesson for me when I woke up and realised that this journey, this Dunya, is where you begin to plant, and strive to make this plant grow into a beautiful tree. You can either be a treasured tree with the best fruits, providing benefit to the community and yourselves, or you can be a dead piece of wood that provides no benefit to anybody save for being burned in the fire to provide heat in the coldness of winter.

This month of Rejab is also described as a month in which we plant the seed. Plant the seed in the month of Rejab, in the month of Sha’ban you water it, and in the month of Ramadhan this tree will grow and begin to bear fruits. 

For those who only honour the month of Ramadhan, it is very difficult to plant and water and look after a tree in such a short span of time. But, by the Mercy of Allah, many of them still get to taste something from these fruits of theirs. Masha’Allah, maybe for those who started in Ramadhan itself, their tree might just be a short shrub or bush but those who started in Rejab, they have a humongous oak tree that provides shelter for hundreds of people, habitats for thousands of creatures, and fruits for millions of people.

So we are seeking to be amongst the people who prepare, prepare from this month of Rejab, and we are seeking to taste the fruits in Ramadhan, starting from the efforts we are putting in now.

I will share with you something that we have all seen. Whenever you go to the hospital to visit a loved one, you will find that they are very weak and listless. They don’t like eating the food. Whenever you ask them, they say the food is terrible, hospital food is poor. Everybody tells you that the hospital food sucks, but the reality is that the food is ordinary food that we may all partake in. But it’s the condition of the people eating the food that taints it. When the body is sick, it is unable to taste the Ni’mah (goodness), the benefits, the blessings, the pleasures of the food it is eating. And similarly, a sick soul, a sick heart, cannot taste the pleasures of the food for the heart and soul. And this is the reason all of us find so much boredom in worshipping.

To share a story from the time of Bani Israel, there once was a man who constantly irritated the Prophet of his time. Constantly taunting and defying him. After many years, when he confronted the Prophet, he said, “You see, I’ve been defying Allah for so many years, nothing happened to me. I have good business, I make money, I am still able to taunt you, I’m in good health. So I’m not scared about what punishments you are talking about.”

And so this Prophet made Munajat (heartfelt prayer) to Allah and asked, “Ya Allah, teach me the wisdom of what this man just said.” Because every Prophet was always deep in contemplation, knowing that nothing happens except as a lesson, for them and for their Ummah (people). And Allah Almighty revealed to this Prophet, saying, ”Do you know that I have made his heart very hard? And he is one of those who do not taste any pleasure in any of the worshipping that I have sent down. His heart is not drawn to me, his heart is not tasting the sweetness of religion. His heart is hardened, and this is the biggest musibah (disaster), a punishment that I can send upon my servant.”

So my dear brothers and sisters, the greatest punishment for a person is to be left in a condition where his heart is hardened, where he tastes no pleasure in his Ibadah (worship), where he is not drawn to be sitting in a gathering like this, not drawn to Tahajjud or to read the Holy Quran, because these are all by invitation. Allah says, “I am sitting with the one who remembers me.” (Hadith Qudsi, Ahmad Bayhaqi) So if Allah does not want to be with you, Allah will not move you to sit with him. Allah will not sit with you. Allah will not move you to remember him.

And so, like the one who is ill in the hospital, not tasting the pleasure of the food, those with hardened hearts taste nothing of the food that Allah sends for the soul – Zikir, Salat, Fasting, Quran, Iktikaf, Seclusion, Munajat, Fikir (contemplation) and Dua – the endless dishes of the spiritual world. And that is the greatest disaster that can befall any of us.

So, the fruits we are trying to attain in these three months are sweetness of companionship with Allah, sweetness of Zikrullah, sweetness of remembrance, sweetness of closeness and sweetness of familiarity with the Lord Almighty. And that is the greatest gift Allah can give you. 

A poor man sitting in Africa, living in a thatched hut in the middle of the desert, is happy reciting his Quran because his heart has tasted the sweetness of being with Allah. And there are people sitting in mansions, in skyscrapers, surrounded by millions of fans, having everything except Allah, who feel this constant emptiness.

Only when you are with Allah will your hearts find satisfaction. So many people have been tricked by Shaitan, telling you to look away from God. Come, try to find the sweetness in music, fine dining, dressing up and going out and buying expensive cars and showing off your wealth. And mankind is so foolishly taking the bait, trying to find sweetness in other than Allah. That is the greatest musibah.

You find so many people who have the world in their pockets who jump off buildings or hang themselves or overdose on drugs as they cannot find one moment where their hearts feel content. But you will never find this despondency and depression in a man who has tasted the sweetness of Quran and Zikrullah, even if he is poor and hungry and living in the middle of a desert. Because being a servant is all that you were created for; if you attain servanthood, you have attained the purpose of your creation. 

Mawlana once gave the most beautiful example for us to ponder. Look at a man eating the whole day, from morning till night. Even when you offer him the most delicious meal he will say, “I ate so much today, I don’t want to eat.” He cannot find sweetness even in the most exquisite food. But, if you look at a man who is fasting, the whole day he is fighting his ego, pleasing Allah, seeking to be a beloved one to Allah Almighty. When offered a cup of water at the end of the day, to him, it is the sweetest thing he has ever drunk. Because he is tasting, not from the sweetness of the food, but from the sweetness of his relationship with his Lord Almighty.

Allah has created us only for the purpose of worshipping. Any other purpose you strive for you will never find your happiness, you will never find your contentment, you will never find your fulfilment. And so, these three months are very important. Rejab is the month where you plant the seed, Sha’ban you water it and then in Ramadhan you have the tree with fruits filled with the sweetness of Allah inviting us to be with Him and seeking Him.

So my dear brothers and sisters, in these three months, do not be busy with anything other than trying to become one who is close to Allah. Yes, you will feel tired, lazy, sleepy and bored but you must make this effort to draw close. You must also say, “Ya Allah, I’m trying my best and finding it very heavy, help me.” Take some coffee, wash your face, renew your wudhu (ablution). Make an effort to stay awake.

No, not many people can taste the sweetness of sitting for an extended period of time in worship. It doesn’t come in one day. You do not fall in love just like that, you do not taste the sweetness, you do not grow a tree and bear its fruit in just a moment, that is why you are given these three months. Maybe boredom or tiredness sets in, but that’s okay. That’s why Allah says in the Hadith Qudsi, man gets bored of making Dua to me, but I never get bored of listening to him.

Once the sweetness of these devotions enters your heart, that means you are beginning to taste the closeness to Allah. Because what is the purpose of all that you are doing? To draw close to Allah. And as Mawlana said, it is not possible for you to draw close except that Allah draws you close. That’s why Allah says in the Hadith Qudsi, when my servant, is doing his best to draw close to me by means of all these Sunnah acts – Sunnat prayers (anything outside the 5 daily prayers), Sunnat fasting, partial seclusion –  then I draw him close to me. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 76, Hadith 509)

Allah says, “If he is walking to me, I am flying to him.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 7405) Even though he is tired, even though he is sleepy, even though he is struggling. Allah knows your struggle. Allah knows your struggle. And Allah values it. Allah created man weak, he knows we are weak. 

Allah created man in toil and struggle.

In that struggle that we are trying to come close to Him, Allah says, “I will then be the eyes by which he sees, the tongue by which he speaks, the ears by which he hears, the feet by which he walks. Allah says, I will be with him and he will be Rabbani. He will be mine, Allah says. When he says Kun, Allah says Faya Kun, it shall be.” (Riyad as-Saliheen, 386)

The process of becoming the beloved of Allah is neither easy nor instantaneous. Yes, you may feel lazy to come to Khatam or wake up for Tahajjud. Yes, those are the beginning stages. We all struggle with these things. And it shows you are human. It shows you are really a person trying from scratch and then that is where we say we are doing, Jihad – fighting this laziness, this sleepiness, this boredom, this tiredness. 

We are fighting against our ego, which tells us to do as we please and not as advised. But we must remember, Allah is Ash-Shakur (The Most Grateful). He does not leave our deeds in vain. Your struggle to become close to Allah will eventually bear fruits, through the slow process by which we ask from Allah in these months. 

We ask Allah to soften our hearts. We ask Allah to make our hearts gentle. We ask Allah to make our hearts pliable, not stubborn, not aggressive, not always finding trouble, but being soft. Because Allah Almighty said, “The seven Heavens and the seven earths cannot contain me, but the soft, gentle heart of a believer can contain me.” (Hadith Qudsi, Al-Ihya of Imam al-Ghazali)

This soft, gentle heart is what we aspire to achieve in these three months. To make our hearts into Baitullah, the House of Allah, such that we will no longer be reluctant in our worship, having tasted the sweetness of being close to Allah. Now your soul is being healed, and having shed its sickness, it realises how hungry it is.

When your heart is cured from all its ailments, you will be eating continuously from Al-Ma’idah (The Table Spread). Eschewing worldly pleasures and devoting yourself to spiritual pleasures. This month of Rejab, the month of Forgiveness, is the month in which you begin to heal your heart.

This is why you must reflect. If you missed your Tahajjud, Hasan al-Basri q.s once said, then check what you did the day before. Once you identify the sin, you realise that Masha’Allah, yesterday I backbit about my friend, and this morning I missed my Tahajjud! The sin is what makes the illness stronger, until you are unable to wake up to do your worshipping. And then you will understand, Masha’Allah, this is the heaviness of sin.

Allah is opening up these three months for us to heal the illnesses of the heart and the soul. So be consistent and determined to rid yourselves of all these illnesses, for you do not want to carry them into the grave when you go back to Allah. Return to Allah with Qalbun Salim – with pure, clean, healthy, perfect, golden hearts.

May Allah grant us Insha’Allah to be busy in this month, seeking forgiveness from Allah. May Allah grant us the sweetness of the fruit of closeness and familiarity with Allah Azzawajal.

Ameen Ya Rabbal Alameen. Bi hurmatil Habib, Bi hurmatil Fatiha.

• Almarhum Sheikh Muhammad Abdul Sattar Khan

27 January 2023/ 5 Rejab 1444

Our beloved Sheikh Muhammad Abdul Sattar Khan reunited with his true love, Allah Almighty, on 11 November 2023.

May Allah forgive his shortcomings, bestow upon him endless blessings, mercy, and light, and elevate his rank for the sincerity of his efforts and contribution during his lifetime. 

May he be placed amongst those closest and dearest to Allah Almighty.

Al-Fatiha for Sheikh Muhammad Abdul Sattar Khan.